It’s Thursday, May 23rd and this is
The News That’s Not Important.

Christmas trees are back in the news that’s not important as Litigators wrestle with a proposal to introduce a 15 cent tax on the holiday pine. The proposed tax is to form a commodity check off program like that presently enjoyed by beef and dairy companies. Naysayers complain that the bill in its entirety will change crop subsidies, food stamps, and dairy programs. The Christmas tree growers would gain approximatly 2 million dollsrs for ads from the attachment – reports the Miami Herald.

This is the news that’s not important.

Lynne Brandon of Sitka Alaska Parks and Recreation has won an award for her outstanding contribution. She has receivied the highly coveted “GreenBelt” award from the Alaska Chapter of The American Society of Landscape Architechs. for excellence in the field.

In Oscala Florida the Star Banner reports city approved landscaping efforts near the Church Hill Square Publix have made the area look more like a war zone then the once oak sheltered plaza – blaming the debacle on poor city pruning certification and training.

This is the news that’s not important.

In Del Aire, California a group known as “the Fallen Fruit” has ventured into what is being billed as the states first public fruit park reports Patricia Leigh Brown of The New York Times. Eighty-seven fruit trees were planted in all, 27 in the park, and 60 in surrounding neighborhoods. Critics complain that the fruit will stain sidewalks, and become a slipping hazard. The group is scheduled to kick off the grand opening of the ‘living art’ park with a Fruit Jam where portable stoves will be set up and surplus fruit used in a variety of concoctions and recipes.

This is the news that’s not important.

In northern California residents complain that a tree the city planted in the late 1970’s has caused a sewerage leak. Over 200 gallons spilled on the sidewalk allegedly ruining works in the nearby MINE gallery. The city explained its position that the pipes were already broken. A source reports, “The pipe had to already be broken. There has to be some way for the roots to get in there.” Reporters speculate that local residents are unaccustomed to two hundred gallons of raw sewerage in the city streets. One local resident is quoted saying, “I don’t like trees downtown. It’s just my personal feeling.” reports Richard Halstead of the Marin Independent Journal, “they block the view.” The tree planted was a London plane tree, non-invasive to the area and hybrid for city planning. The sidewalk was cracked and lifted before the incident.

In unrelated news that’s not important-

In Sioux City Iowa residents can sense that summer is here, reports Nick Hytrek of the Sioux City journal. Forget about looking for tulips, every spring the orange traffic cones sprout right up on I-29 where road work means waiting, groaning and moaning as crews scurry to finish one phase of a project only to begin another.

In other orange cone related news that’s not important- cones not phones is the sponsored message through out the capitol belt way on I-95 reports the Potomac Local News in Dale VA. If you see that cone put down that phone/ or just throw it in the river – after all they cause brain cancer and-


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